


Halloween decor shopping gone wrong

by Mimicchi



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Blood Drinking, Comedy, Demons, Ghosts, Grim Reapers, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, M/M, Mediums, Swearing, Trick or Treating, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27321529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimicchi/pseuds/Mimicchi
Summary: Cross-posted on AminoFelix orders a coffin on ebay but things go terribly wrong...
Relationships: Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Kudos: 19





	Halloween decor shopping gone wrong

"Yo Jinnie I ordered this super realistic looking coffin from some Romanian seller on eBay, wanna come over to my place to check it out together? It's heavy as hell, I haven't opened it yet but it looks dope mate!" Felix babbled excitedly, shaking his best friend with enthusiasm.  
"From a Romanian seller on Ebay? Are you for real? That sounds kinda fishy Lix. How much did you pay for it?" The taller man asked his shorter friend.  
"Umm… Jinnie, do you really want to know that? Okay don't look at me like that, it was expensive. Around 300AUD but I swear it was totally worth it, it looks super cool and smells like really old wood!" The younger of the two tried to defend himself, only gaining a very judging expression from his friend.  
"Lix that sounds like a big scam, you don't pay that much money for some Halloween decoration! Why did you waste your money on that? I'll come over, I want to see in person how badly you got scammed on eBay." Hyunjin huffed in amusement, hooking an arm around the other's neck. 

"So this is the coffin? It actually looks pretty realistic, you got a point there. Let's hope that there isn't a corpse in there, that'd be smelly and gross." The older male commented at the sight of the coffin.  
"You're only worried about the smell? Not gonna question that. Let's try to open this bad boy, shall we?" The freckled man chuckled, trying to figure out how to open the coffin, yet without success as the coffin was tightly secured shut with chains that had a slightly rusty lock attached to them.  
"Wait let me try to open it, it doesn't seem like you're opening this anytime soon." The taller of the two said mockingly, kicking the lock violently and smirking as the rusty metal broke apart from the impact.  
"Bingo, it's open. Let's take a look inside, I wanna know what's inside!" He said excitedly, ignoring the confused expression that appeared on the younger's face as he destroyed the metal with a single kick.  
"I'm not going to question how you asparagus tarzan managed to destroy this lock with one single kick… Let's just open it." Felix sighed, attempting to open the lid of the coffin but failing again.  
"This asparagus tarzan is stronger than you think he is." Hyunjin replied, rolling his eyes. He opened the lid with ease, face twisting into a very confused expression.

"Hyunjin?? Move aside, I want to see what's in there!" The younger man exclaimed, trying to push his friend away.  
"Felix if this is a prank then that's a very unfunny one. Who's that man? Did you pay him to lock himself up in a coffin as a dumb Halloween prank?" The taller man said with a hint of annoyance in his voice.  
"Man? THERE'S A MAN INSIDE!? MOVE ASIDE ASPARAGUS I WANT TO SEE HIM!" Felix yelled, trying to push his best friend aside once again. His eyes widened at the sight in front of him; there really was a man inside the coffin. A very pale man with dark brown locks, dark circles underneath his eyes, skin that looked so dull it could as well be dehydrated and slightly pointy ears. His clothes basically screamed vampire, making the two friends question a lot of things.

"Wait, does it make you a grave robber that you bought a coffin with a lowkey dehydrated but scarily intact… corpse?" Hyunjin asked, tilting his head to the side with a puzzled expression on his face.  
"I mean maybe this is all just a prank and the corpse is like… Not a corpse I guess? It could be a puppet… Wait I have an idea!" The younger man said, getting a box of matches and lighting one up.  
"Felix don't set the coffin on fire okay?" The lanky man huffed, watching with a sceptical expression.  
"Don't worry, that's not what I'm planning to do. I just wanna see what our corpse dude does if I hold a burning match close to his face…" The shorter of the two chuckled, holding the match awfully close to the man's face. The man suddenly opened his bright red eyes, startling the younger of the two friends so much he stumbled backwards and fell onto his flat butt, the fire having gone out from the harsh movement of the fall.

"OUCH HOT! You brutes, are you trying to burn me alive?!" The very pale man shrieked loudly, boney hand reaching out for the lid of the coffin and pulling it shut. Hyunjin looked at the coffin with a dumbfounded expression, offering his friend a hand and pulling him up.  
"Holy guacamole, what was that?! Pinch me please Jinnie!" Felix exclaimed dramatically, squeaking in pain as his friend pinched his arm.  
"I SAID PINCH ME NOT RAM YOUR FINGERNAILS INTO MY ARM YOU STUPID ASPARAGUS!" The freckled man shrieked dramatically, earning himself two annoyed groans.

"So you fopdoodle woke me from my precious nap, tried to set me on fire and are now yelling around dramatically?" The man in the coffin asked with a very annoyed sounding voice. Felix just shrieked again, hiding behind his best friend and clutching the crucifix pendant of his necklace in his hand.  
"Jinnie this is a horrible prank, what did the seller think when putting this random guy into that cool coffin? It's such a waste, the coffin would've been so much better without that creep inside!" The younger man complained, still hiding behind his friend.  
"Excuse me? This coffin is mine, it's not for sale!" The pale man hissed, opening the coffin and stepping out of it. The friends' faces twisted at the sound the man's bones made as he moved, both being visibly grossed out.  
"Dude you sound like you're breaking your bones while moving, that can't be healthy!" Hyunjin exclaimed, taking a step away from the pale creature.

"I must've overslept, my bones sound like that if I haven't used them in… A while. Now tell me what's your blood type, I need to know that." The man demanded, stretching a little and ignoring the reactions to the sounds his bones made.  
"That's a weird question mate… I'm type B and my friend here is type AB." The taller of the two answered for both of them.  
"No zero negative? How boring. Eh, B should be enough for now, I'll go look for some zero negative later." The creature shrugged and lunged forward, taking the taller's hand and biting right into his wrist. The unexpected thing about that wasn't the fact that he was trying to drink blood but the fact that he spat it out immediately, his expression showing disgust.

"Ew what the heck why didn't you tell me that you're a demon? Your blood is gross, I didn't expect that the first thing I'd drink after my nap would be demon blood." The brunet exclaimed dramatically, scrunching up his nose and exposing sharp fangs.  
"Um excuse me what? Did you just try to bite my best friend? And what are you talking about, calling him a demon? Did you two team up with the seller to prank me?? And where did you get those fangs from? They look dope mate, I wanted to dress up as a vampire for Halloween but I didn't find any realistic vampire fangs. Where can I buy them?" Felix rambled, taking a step forward to admire the fangs of the pale man.  
"You're asking too many questions, human. I'm hungry and I don't like demon blood nor AB blood so if you'd excuse me, I have some thirst to quench, I'm feeling a lil dehydrated here." The man shrugged and went towards the next window, opening it with his ridiculously boney hand and just jumping out of it.

"Oh my god Hyunjin I think that guy just jumped into his safe death, should we check if he's still alive??" The freckled man asked his friend, who stood there dumbfounded ever since the pale guy had tried to drink his blood.  
"Uh-huh we should… Jeez today is such a weird day, what did you sign us up for when you bought that coffin Lix?" Hyunjin sighed, pulling his best friend down the staircase and to the front door of the house. Before they even reached the front door a piercing scream could be heard from outside, a very scared looking pale man rushing past them as soon as they opened the door. They followed him, both being confused as the guy was nowhere to be seen - well that is until they noticed that the door of the coffin had been pulled shut in their absence.

"Mate you good? Did you break some bones after jumping out of the window like that? We thought you were dead, what scared you that you screamed that loudly?" Felix asked the coffin, crouching down in front of it and opening the door.  
"T-There was a massive metal carriage but there were no horses, it had scary glowing eyes and was loud and smelly!! What monster was that?!" The man whimpered, being visibly frightened. The two friends couldn't contain their laughter at that.  
"That wasn't a monster but a machine called a car. What's your name and in what year do you think we live in?" The younger of the two asked the frightened creature.  
"My name? Christopher Bang, heir to the influential Bang clan of vampires in Romania… And we probably have the year 1520 now? I know that I fell asleep in 1510 so I most likely slept a couple years…" The brunet answered, calming down a little.

"Sweetie I don't want to disappoint you but it seems that you slept half a millennium, we live in the year 2020. As you already guessed, I'm a demon. My name's Hyunjin and that little human there is Felix. Trustworthy little fella and can bake like a god." Hyunjin replied, ignoring the completely confused expression he received from his best friend for introducing himself as a demon.  
"Okay bye I'm going back to sleep, this is all just a nightmare, if I fall asleep now I'll wake up and will be back in my home in Romania and it'll be the year 1520 and not half a millennium later." The vampire muttered, closing his coffin and pretending to go back to sleep.

"You have a lot to explain to me now mate!" Felix said with a pout, turning around to face his best friend.  
"Yeah I guess I owe you an explanation. There's, well, a few people in this city that aren't exactly human. I'm a demon for example, a peaceful one though, I just wanna live a normal human life like you enjoy it. Other examples would be Jisung and Seungmin. Jisung is, if you want to believe it or not, a grim reaper and Seungmin is a ghost that doesn't want to move on, annoying Jisung who just wants to finish his job. That Jeongin boy who recently moved into town is a fox spirit and Minho from our dance class is a witch. The only person in our friend circle who's also a human is Changbin, though he isn't exactly human either because he can see ghosts. You can too, you can see Seungmin after all. You two are basically what humans call mediums." The demon explained, sighing quietly.

"That's… A lot, I think it'll take me a month to realize that my best friend is a damn Demon and that I just bought a vampire and his coffin off of ebay…" The human muttered in disbelief, burying his hands in his hair and lightly pulling at it due to the amount of shock.  
"I'm a friendly Demon, 'damn Demon' sounds way too mean!" Hyunjin complained, taking his best friend's tiny hands into his much bigger ones to distract him a little.  
"Do you think our vampire has calmed down now Jinnie..?" Felix asked in a small voice to change the topic.  
"I guess there's only one way to find that out." The older said and opened the coffin again.

"So you two are still here? I guess it wasn't a nightmare then…" The vampire sighed quietly, stepping out of his coffin and leaning against the door of it.  
"Yeah we're pretty much real, mate. And what about you? Are you a real vampire? I thought they weren't real and just characters of fiction, derived from bats that sucked blood. You can't be that thirsty if you reject all blood that's near you though! I mean I kinda get why you reject demon blood but rejecting my blood just because it's type AB is mean!" The youngest argued, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Yes I'm a real vampire? Why shouldn't I? And well that's because AB blood isn't as pure as the other types, A and B taste fine on their own, but in combination they're just gross. My clear preference is zero negative but zero positive also works if there's no zero negative around. Do you have any human friends that are blood type Zero?" Christopher asked, tilting his head to the side.  
"Oh you're lucky, we have a friend who's a medium and blood type Zero, maybe we can convince him to donate blood to you if we're lucky. The guy has a major soft spot for Felix here so if he asks nicely and bribes him with kisses and hugs you might be able to get your hands on some zero positive blood." The tallest answered, ignoring the offended gasp he got from his best friend.

"Bribing with hugs and kisses?? You humans are weird, if we vampires bribe someone we offer them money or other material goods, not hugs or kisses." The brunet asked, being visibly confused by the whole situation.  
"You don't need to understand that, let's just go. We wanted to meet up with them anyways because it's Halloween and they wanted to help us dress up as monsters. Be glad that it's Halloween or you would've gotten weird looks for your appearance." Felix huffed in amusement, getting his Halloween costume and stuffing it into a bag.  
"Who are 'they'? You're not going to bring me to a place that has vampire hunters, are you??" The vampire exclaimed dramatically.

"'They' are our friends. A grim reaper named Jisung, the ghost he's looking after, named Seungmin, and their short roommate Changbin, who's a medium and your potential source of blood. They're all into men so if you're gonna throw some medieval homophobia at us you can get the hell out of this house." Hyunjin said, rolling his eyes and getting his bag as well.  
"Medieval homophobia? I guess I grew up in the wrong place then, I don't even know what that term means. Vampires aren't picky when it comes to genders so I don't mind that they're into men. I just hope none of them gets their hopes up, I know that I'm a handsome man but I'm not looking for a relationship with someone who's 500 years younger than me." The oldest shrugged, following the two friends out of the house.

"Hi Changbin, Felix accidentally ordered a coffin with a real vampire inside off of eBay and the guy is so picky with blood types that you're our last resort to get him rehydrated." The tallest greeted the man who had opened the door.  
"Lix why do you always cause trouble like this, hm?" The medium asked, greeting his boyfriend with a small peck on the cheek. He pulled the trio inside, closing the door behind them.  
"Because I'm a magnet for bad luck, I guess? Anyways Binnie can you please let our vampire friend here have some of your blood? He jumped out of the window because he wanted to go find some zero negative blood but I don't want to be the reason why a vampire is wreaking havoc in town so we offered him that he could have yours because you're zero positive and he said that he prefers zero negative and positive. Pretty please Binnie??" The youngest begged, pulling the older man into a hug.

"So you're sacrificing your own boyfriend to the vampire you accidentally bought on eBay? I feel offended." The older man said with a pout.  
"Nooooo Binnie I'm not sacrificing you, I'm just asking you to donate blood to the vampire because you're my only human friend who's blood type zero!" Felix kept on begging, looking at the shorter man like a sad kitten.  
"Oh so you figured out that none of our friends are humans? Took you long enough to realize that. I'm still not so happy about the fact that you're sacrificing my blood to that vampire, I should be off limits because I'm already your boyfriend!" The medium pouted, pulling his shirt away from his neck and freeing himself from the hug.

"Wait is that a yes Binnie? You're letting our vampire have your blood? Yay you're the best, I love you!" The freckled man exclaimed happily as his boyfriend nodded, smooching the older's cheek and stepping aside.  
"Ew pull that shirt back into place, I'm not drinking from your neck, human. That's reserved for lovers and you're a couple hundred years too young to even consider being my lover. Besides, you're short, I don't like having to bend down to drink blood." Christopher said with a disgusted expression, just taking the man's hand and biting into his wrist.  
"Hey at least give me a warning you picky beast!" Changbin hissed, yet letting the vampire do what he wanted.

"Excuse me but what's going on here? Who's that stranger biting Binnie's wrist?" A very confused grim reaper, who had been attracted by the shouting, asked.  
"Felix bought a 500 year old vampire on eBay and because the guy is picky we took him with us, so that he could have Changbin's blood. Help me with my Halloween costume while they're busy??" Hyunjin replied, walking up to the shorter man.  
"Oh no why does that sound like such a Felix thing to do? And sure, you can change in the bathroom, I'll distract Seungmin that he can't accidentally walk in on you again." The reaper, Jisung, answered and went into his own room, where a tall ghost had curled up on his bed.

"Seungmin we have visitors, please don't attempt to use the bathroom for the next ten minutes." The brunet told the ghost.  
"Is it Hyunjin again??" The younger asked with an excited expression, sitting up.  
"Yes it's Hyunjin again. Hyunjin and two friends he brought with him. And that is exactly why you are not going near the bathroom for the next ten minutes." Jisung replied, sitting down on the ghost's lap and pulling at his cheek.  
"Mean. Who are the other friends that he brought with him??" Seungmin asked, looking at the reaper with innocent puppy eyes.  
"Oh just Binnie's boyfriend and a vampire he bought on eBay." The older answered.

"Sungie that sounds wrong on so many levels oh my god!" The ghost exclaimed.  
"Well just as wrong as it is that you can walk through doors and disregard the 'occupied' sign on the bathroom door." Jisung fired back, squeezing the ghost's cheeks with both hands.  
"Pfffff you're no fun, I bet you'd do the same if you were a ghost." Seungmin pouted, pulling the older's hands away from his cheeks.  
"No I wouldn't, I'm not you, Seungminnie." The reaper answered, waiting for their demon friend to leave the bathroom.

"Thanks for preventing Seungmin from annoying me, Sung. Can you help me with my hair? I wanna go for a curly hair look this time since I have my long hair right now!" Hyunjin said after some ten minutes had passed, standing in the door and waiting for the reaper to get up and help him.  
"Oh sure, that's gonna be such a look on you Jinnie." The younger brunet giggled, getting up from the ghost's lap and getting his curling iron from a drawer. They went into the bathroom, plugging the cable into the socket and waiting for the iron to heat up. Jisung took a hairbrush and smaller hairpins, separating the older's hair to make it easier to curl the strands separately. He put the brush away and took the iron.

"What kind of torture device is it that you are using?" A very terrified looking Christopher asked from the door frame, taking the reaper aback.  
"That's a curling iron, not a torture device. You make hair curly with this, mate." Hyunjin answered the question.  
"You look… Rehydrated. Quite the handsome fella." He remarked after a moment, staying still as the reaper curled his hair.  
"Quite? Only quite? Are you kidding me? I had both the ladies and the gentlemen swooning back in my day!" The vampire exclaimed, sounding very offended.

"Well that's quite the statement. You sure have a handsome face, but I wouldn't have expected people in the sixteenth century to be so into you that both men and women would thirst after you." Jisung huffed in amusement, finishing the demon's hair after some time.  
"Thirst after me..? I'm sorry but I fail to understand what you're trying to tell me?" Christopher asked.  
"Oh that's just modern slang we use if someone is attracted to you. Do you want me to curl your hair as well?" The reaper offered, holding the still hot iron in one hand.  
"N-No I'll pass, that torture device is too intimidating. The humans told me to ask how much time you two need, they wanted to go do trick or treat. Whatever that's supposed to mean." The pale man said, watching the curling iron with caution.

"Tell them we're done in five minutes." Hyunjin answered, stopping to hide his demon horns and pushing his hair into place to not make it look weird with the horns.  
"Um okay, I'll go tell them then." The vampire sighed and went to look for the couple.  
"Demon boy said they're done in five minutes. Are you two done as well?" He asked the two humans, who had dressed up in weird Halloween costumes.  
"Yeah we're done. Do we look scary?" Felix asked with a grin.

"Scarily inaccurate if you're supposed to be a vampire. What is that costume even? It's super inaccurate, no vampire would dress in a white dress shirt paired with a wine red velvet jacket, they're way too valuable clothes for a vampire to wear, if anything then you'd be a prince turned into a vampire with that outfit. Besides, the white dress shirt would be super impractical because you'd see every tiny bit of dirt or blood on it." Christopher criticized him, shaking his head in disbelief.  
"Never mind I shouldn't have asked you then. Binnie do I look scary?" The human asked desperately.  
"You look pretty handsome but not scary Lix, sorry about that." His boyfriend chuckled, giving his back a reassuring pat.

"That's mean! Let's just go, I'll throw our vampire at people if they say I'm not a scary vampire." Felix pouted, walking past the vampire and towards the exit of the house.  
"Well I mean that's definitely a way to scare the living hell out of people." Changbin chuckled, following the younger human and dragging the vampire with him by the wrist.  
"Oh what have I gotten myself into when I decided to take that nap 500 years ago…" Christopher sighed, letting the medium, who was dressed up as a scary housewife ghost, drag him along.

"Changbin your costume is inaccurate, ghosts don't look like that!" An offended Seungmin said, pulling at the wig the human was wearing.  
"Let them be, Minnie, humans just don't know how to dress like monsters properly." Jisung said in amusement, pulling the ghost's hand away from the wig.  
"Only real monsters know how monsters look." Hyunjin remarked, taking the ghost's hand to distract him from the wig.  
"But that wig is so inaccurate, no ghost would wear a wig like that!" The ghost exclaimed with a pout.  
"And Changbin isn't a ghost so let it go. See it like that, he didn't force you to wear the wig." The reaper chuckled, taking the ghost's other hand.

"Let's just enjoy this candy hunt, we have a bet with Minho and Jeongin on which group will collect more candy so we'll have to hurry up because they already started an hour ago!" Felix shouted at the arguing monsters, running up to the next house to collect his first candies.  
"He's like a child when it comes to trick or treat, isn't he precious?" Changbin asked the vampire with a dreamy sigh.  
"You sound very in love, blood bank." The older man replied.  
"Excuse me? I already told you two times that my name is Changbin, stop calling me 'blood bank' or you'll never get any blood again!" The medium pouted, letting go of the older's wrist.

"Yeah yeah Changblood bank." The vampire chuckled mockingly.  
"That's not making it any better!" Changbin complained, crossing his arms in front of his chest.  
"Binnie, Christopher, look! I collected my first candies, your nice neighbour lady gave me vampire fang gummy candies!" The youngest human yelled in excitement, showing off the gummy teeth he had clumsily shoved into his mouth.  
"Now you don't look like a prince anymore but ridiculous." Christopher snickered, being somewhat amused.  
"Mean, you don't appreciate my awesome teeth at all!" Felix pouted, running up to the rest of the group in hope of getting the reaction he wanted.


End file.
